Friday, October 2, 2009


I have been so busy and all over the place lately that it'll be amazing if I can string together some coherent thoughts for this post. Work continues to get increasingly busy every day, and I've gotten to the point where I wish people would just stop admitting to me that they're fucking up. Damn it people, I'm giving you a 16-week pass to run free while I diet, and you're coming in to see me and TELLING me about how you're screwing up...since when is being truthful part of the deal?

Anyway, my weekends are now officially completely booked until my shows, which means I can't rely on them for catching up on sleep like I normally would like to. I'm trying not to think about it because it starts to stress me out, but telling me to not think about something is like telling me not to breathe. I know, I know, I shouldn't stress--stress releases cortisol, cortisol makes you hold onto fat, blah blah blah. The good thing is that it's forced me to take time off from work in order to get some relaxation (you know you desperately need to take time off when your boss strongly advises you to do so). My problem is that I come home and think of the millions of things that need to get done because I've started to let them go as dieting progresses, like cleaning the bathroom, cleaning the kitchen, vacuuming, changing my sheets, cooking food, packing food, laundry, getting my oil changed, and the list goes on and on. You think reading that sentence was overwhelming, you should try actually being in my head right now.

So, to try to combat this, I'm taking a little road trip tomorrow. I'm heading down to Bev's on Long Island with one of my girlfriends who competes in figure. It'll be a good way for me to get a change of gym scenery and also be able to relax by NOT being around here and worrying about the bazillion things I should be doing. And then I can head home to have what will probably be my last cheat meal until after my shows. I have begun to mentally prepare myself to have tomorrow be my last cheat meal, since last year it was pulled at 6 weeks out. Of course, there is a glimmer of hope that it won't be because I'm making much better progress this year at 6 weeks out than I was last year....the caveat is that I also have to be a lot tighter this year. So, I've just accepted that tomorrow could possibly be it for the cheat meal for a while. Sunday's plan is to train legs in the morning and finish my cardio at night, with LOTS of napping in between.

As far as training this past week goes, my legs are just now feeling like they're recovered from Sunday's workout. I can tell that all the cardio and the lack of calories is cutting into their ability to recover properly. The rest of the workouts this week continue to be pretty unremarkable, and to be honest, it's probably pretty pointless for me to even mention much about them for the next few weeks because I know they're only going to get worse. Ah well, the price you pay for dieting for a show. It certainly does make me appreciate the strength I have during the offseason, though.

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