Baby (Doesn't) Got Back

Yesterday I was off from work and was able to train in the morning. Normally, I love a mid-morning workout. I usually have gotten a good, long sleep the night before, have a little bit of food in me, and just love that time of day in general. That was so not the case for yesterday's back workout. As usual, I started out with 5x5 deadlifts, and right from the get, they didn't feel right. All I could think about was my knee from the day before and how I just HAD to get 295 for 5 because I've been stuck for the past couple of weeks. That's not usually a good way for me to start, and it proved to be the case yesterday. I was so caught up in my own head that by the time I got to my 5th set, I got 295 up for 1, and it was a shitty rep. So, I had a temper tantrum (as I do sometimes) and threw on 290 instead. But it didn't matter, I was already done. I got 290 for 3 (got 3/4 of the way up on the 4th rep but I quit). Usually when I have a bad couple sets like that, I'm able to pull my shit together and get back on track for the rest of the workout. But I just couldn't do it. I couldn't get the connection that I usually do, and I played head games with myself on every set. For example, after deads I did T-Bar rows and was pretty strong on them. But instead of thinking "Oh good, I'm finally getting stronger with this exercise," I think, "Big deal. I'm pulling more weight because I f'ed up dead lifts." So I muddled through the rest of the workout and finished off with some abs and 45 minutes of cardio.

Surprisingly, I woke up with a rather sore back this morning. There's always some redemption with that. At least the workout wasn't a total wash despite that I made zero progress. I also went back in my log book and tried to track where I left off with dead lifts and found that I only tried to get 290 once back in November when I only got it for 3 reps. So, that made me feel a little better, and next week, I'll plan on trying to get 290 for 5 instead of 295. One thing the Homeslice said to me recently that really sticks in my head (every once in a while I listen to what he says) is that sometimes I'm just not ready to get that new max. In other words, I need to build my confidence at 285 (or 290) before I'm actually "ready" to move up. Guess we'll see what next week brings...