Can't Sleep...

So I just got home a couple of hours ago from working at the Species Booth at the Empire States in Suffern all day. And in a VERY rare occurance, I can't sleep....so here I am. After the past two days that I've had, I should have been face first in my pillow when I walked through the door. Not so much. Thursday started off with an early morning doctor visit to follow up on my hamstring MRI. The doc said it was negative and that he has no idea what's wrong with me. So what does he do? Tells me that I definitely have nerve damage and my left quad is atrophied, gives me a script for Prednisone to reduce the inflammation around my sciatic nerve, and sends me on my way. Are you fucking kidding me?!? So Thursday started with a mini-meltdown and, as usual was a long day because it's my regular late night at work. I had planned on keeping things pretty quiet on Friday because I had a lot of paperwork to catch up on...well, now I have a REAL lot of paperwork to do. Friday turned out to be literally non-stop action all day and was everything I wanted when I took this job, despite how draining it was. The day involved me running after a drunk person driving over a curb and nearly causing an accident, a chase through several nearby towns, a resisted arrest, and finally getting a local court judge to lock the guy up. Despite that I got a real sense of accomplishment in my job on Friday, my head was completely spinning by the time I got to the gym. I was looking forward to my shoulder workout, but I couldn't wrap my head around it. The weight felt too heavy, and I couldn't seem to connect with it. I knew a mucho meltdown was brewing, and sure enough, when I finally got home last night and let everything from the day sink in, it reared it's ugly head. When you step back and think about how an already bad situation could have been worse, it can be pretty freaking scary. And then you second-guess how you handled it and what you could have done differently. Needless to say, I was looking forward to today knowing that I could completely switch gears and not have to think about what happened.

I headed down to the venue this morning and got things set up. Pre-judging went quick and by 2pm we were heading to the gym to train. I figured I'd leave chest for today becuase I assumed I either wouldn't train at all or if I did, I didn't want to have a bad shoulder or back workout, so I switched things around. The workout was pretty crappy (I never have good ones when I feel like I'm rushed or in a gym that I'm not familiar with), but it got done and I'm glad I went. Much like the morning, the night show went quick and I was out of there before 9.

Tomorrow is back and I'm hoping to have a redeeming workout. The plan is to take my time and just enjoy it. I'll have to go into work later in the day to finish up the f'ing paperwork from Friday, but first I'm going to have a sick back workout, thankyouverymuch (that's my feeble attempt at being positive). Alright, so I'd like to make this week as positive as possible in the gym becuase I know how I get during prep. Even though every year I say I'm going to try to be less miserable, it NEVER happens. I guess all the contest diet does is enhance my already apparent miserableness haha.

Well, looks like recapping my own life is boring enough to make me sleepy, so it's off to bed I go finally.