Wednesday, January 28, 2009

So Funny I Nearly Split My Pants

Only, I really did split my pants. Yup, right up the butt thankyouverymuch. Yesterday morning as I was walking into the office, I bent down to pick up something I dropped and all of a sudden...POP! The damn butt seam in my pants completely burst open. It didn't just rip a little and then tear open. It literally popped open. And not just a little hole. It split right from my damn crack all the way to the seam in the front. WTF! So, there I am, 30 minutes from home, in a parking lot, with my ass hanging out. I then proceeded to drive home with my bare ass on my car seat because the hole was that big. The worst part is, I thought to myself as I put the pants on this morning, "wow, I guess I have been losing weight because these aren't tight on me anymore." Apparently, the pants thought otherwise.

Clothes ripping was undoubtedly the theme yesterday, as when I got home last night, I realized that I ripped a hole in the shoulder seam of my sweater. Now that's much less of a blow to the ego. At least I can say my shoulders are too big for my shirts and not feel like a tub-o. But saying that my ass is so big it literally split my pants open, well, that's not so flattering. I think I'll just wear dresses and skirts from now on.

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