It's funny how I can have a plan in my head sometimes that seems so solid, and then something out of nowhere just flips the switch, and I find myself on a different course. My entire offseason had been planned around me starting my prep on June 19th, yet here I am, two weeks early starting my prep. After losing a few pounds from the recent diet and cardio changes, I couldn't help but feel like, what the hell, might as well just jump into the contest diet full force. Pull out the carbs, add in the extra 2 days of cardio (I was doing 5 days/week) and just get this going. Hell, I have almost 30 pounds to lose....two extra weeks can only help.
Plus, it's amazing to me to think that just a few months ago, I was contemplating not competing at all this year. I had no desire, no motivation to get back on stage. I felt blah and wanted no part in anything bodybuilding-related. I was so nervous (and sad) that the spark and excitement were lost completely. But something, and I have no idea what, changed. And that spark is back with a force. In the past, I have had a bad habit of using my contest prep as a way of avoiding dealing with certain situations. I have used at least two preps as a way to not deal with a broken heart, and I've buried myself in prep as a way to not deal with family problems and several other things. This was always part of why I looked forward to prep...I saw it as a mental break from dealing with certain stuff. But this year is different. For the first time ever, I'm looking forward to this season for the sheer fact that I just LOVE to train, and diet, and compete. I want to see my progress and what my offseason work has done for me. Sure, I still have bullshit going on, but this prep is NOT my way of avoiding it. I have a much clearer mind going into this prep than I ever have before. Though, I will say, having certain pieces of bullshit out of my life for the first time makes for a much more stress-free prep.
My goal this year (outside of the physical aspect of the sport) is to improve on my ability to balance prep and my life. I get better at it every year, but I still suck at it. Also, I have a few select people who are behind me 100% unconditionally, and I need to do a better job of letting them know how much I appreciate their support, because there are also a few people who should support me but don't.
Anyway, enough serious stuff. If last night's sick ass leg workout was any indication of what's to come over the next 18 weeks, then I say it's go time!